You Are Never Enough for Your Parents

No matter what you do, your parents still think you are not there yet?

You are making 50K a month (Parents: our neighbor’s kid makes 200K)

You just received an A in class (Parents: your cousins always gets an A+)

You got a new dress (Parents: anything to wear that makes you look less fat than that?)

You got her a gift from your trip (Parents: why did you buy this stupid thing?)

And the list goes on.

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. I grew up with a single mom, who thinks I am nothing like her. Instead, she keeps reminding me how I’m a clone version of my dad, who of course, is a loser gambler that ruined this family.

I graduated from a top-tier university with a scholarship while supporting both of us since 18, my second class honor was embarrassing, she has always expected a golden first-class honor.

No matter how much my weight is, I’m always too fat. All my life decisions suck. My voice is annoying. And I’m too naive to survive life.

If you want to go back further, she didn’t pick me up for 2 weeks when I was born, because she was dissatisfied that I’m not a boy (yes, we are half Chinese). I’ve always been a mistake since day one and continue to be.

The feeling of being a disappointment to your parents is not easy to deal with. Everyone wants to be loved, adored, and cared for, especially from your parents who brought you to this big messy world. But why is it so hard to feel those from your own family where “love” was supposed to be unconditional?

Let me tell you the truth:

Your parents are just human beings. They are not born to be your superheroes. They have their own fears and secrets. They have things that they are not proud of. And maybe, they might just feel as messed up as how they treat you.

The way people express themselves and treat others is the reflection of how they see themselves. If they say you are poor, stupid, or not successful, that’s probably because they are feeling that way about themselves too. A lot of times, your parents might think of you like a second chance for themselves. You are a little version of them with all the…